Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Sometimes when I watch TV, I think, OH MY STARS AND GARTERS!  I COULD BE THEIR BEST BUD!  It's why I love certain TV shows so damn much.  Listed here are my TV BFFs and reasons why.  Who are your TV BFFs?

1. Veronica Mars
Played by Kristen Bell; Veronica Mars
Veronica's spunkiness, dry sense of humor, and witty retorts, complete with nerdy pop culture references make her my ultimate potential BFF.  Her ability to handle herself in a dire situation and be able to sniff out clues and piece them together to solve minor crimes to murders.  Her ability to ward off all popular people with fear and weirdness can only draw me to her more.  "When entering a frat house full of accused rapists, the pant suit is a solid wardrobe choice.  It's fashion's way of saying, 'Move along. Nothing to see here.'"  Veronica (or, really, Kristen Bell), please be my BFF-entine.  If you had, you wouldn't have chosen such awful taste in men.

 2. Ned the Piemaker
Played by Lee Pace; Pushing Daisies
Because everyone needs a little more adorable in their life, especially me, awkward Ned would be my second choice for TV BFF.  He's dog-like loyal and incredibly bumbly-nice.  Don't you just want to pinch his cheeks?  I'd want to, but I'd refrain because well...a dude doing that to another dude is just awkward, even for me.  In Veronica Mars-like, Buffy-like way, Ned speaks with quick, witty, and spunky dialect.  I could see me, Ned, and Veronica Mars solving mysteries together like a modern-day adorable, witty Scooby gang.  With his love of cardigans, Chucks, and aprons, how could I not want to hang out with him, drinks a few beers, bake pies and tarts, revive some dead people for fun.  You know, typical BFF stuff.  "I asked you to not to use the word zombie, it’s disrespectful.  Stumbling around squawking for brains, it’s not how they do.  And undead? Nobody wants to be un- anything.  Why begin a statement with a negative?  It’s like say I don’t disagree.  Just say you agree."  Gush!  Ned also makes me want to open my own pie restaurant business.  It will happen some day.  Mark my words, bitches.

3. Leslie Knope, Ben Wyatt, Ann Perkins
Played by Amy Poehler, Adam Scott, and Rashida Jones; Parks and Recreation

As I think I would be too annoyed by Tom and too scared to be Ron Swanson's friend and because, let's face it, I don't want him shitting in my house, I would find the second most adorably fun folks to hang out with.  I like to surround myself with fun and funny people, and these people can fill those roles.  Leslie tries so hard to be smart and in charge, and she is, by all means, but she can be the biggest ditz you've met.  This is the case with many of my friends, and it makes for a good time.  And when you get Leslie and Ann together drinking, it's cause for probably the best drunken night of your life.  I look forward to seeing the Parks gang get smashy-smashy (that's my word for's gross sounding but has implications of both drunkenness and sex) because I know it will be hilarious.  It already is thinking about the possibilities.  Add shy, adorable Ben to the mix, and it's golden.  I like to hang out with mostly girls, but those awkward guys make it all the better because they give me something to make fun of.  So, yeah, I might be mean sometimes, but only to friends, and they accept it and make fun of me back.  That's the way friendship works, right?  And Donna can make guest appearances at our functions because she would know how to make it a party and give us some crazy-ass lines.

4. Chuck Bartowski
Played by Zachary Levi; Chuck 
 Yet another adorable man to add to my BFF list.  What nerd wouldn't want Chuck as his friend?  He's incredibly loyal and nerdy.  He risks his own life to save his loved ones.  That's "awesome."  He has great taste in women...Bobby Drake-approved.  We would play video games together; watch zombie movies, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, and the Lord of the Rings; and go to the comic book store.  These are all in my imaginary weekly agenda.  I would not mind getting inducted into his circle of spy friends as well.  I feel like I could bring in fantastic communications and sword skills on missions.  I know multiple languages (granted they're Gaelic, Scots-English, and Spanish) and can talk to anyone.  It would come in handy, I'm sure.  NERD HERD!

5. Penny Hartz
Played by Casey Wilson; Happy Endings
Penny can be my gay husband too.  She loads of fun, full of energy, and uber-hilarious.  I like an expressive person, someone to have fun with working out (except not lifting weights because I would laugh so hard, I would drop the weights on my neck), watching movies, and going out on the town and getting smashy-smashy.  I have a feeling that fellow-and-very-absent blogger Sally would feel the same way.  If you don't love being with her, you're dead to me.  I love being with her every episode of Happy Endings, and I can't get enough.  "FroYo.  Over it.  Other stuff.  Over it."

6. Myka Bering, Claudia Donovan, Pete Lattimer
Played by Joanne Kelly, Allison Scagliotti, and Eddie McClintock; Warehouse 13
 The cast of Warehouse 13 clicks like no other Sci-Fi cast, and I want to be in their family.  You feel it as you watch, and they're all goofy as can be, yet badass.  Claudia is perfect in every way.  We can geek out together.  Pete and I can get stupid drunk.  And Myka and I can hold intelligent conversations on literature.  Because that's what I want to do with a friend sometime.  Like really intelligent.  That's how much I miss college classes.  I crave intellectual stimulation.  Myka can provide that for me.  Not to mention, she can be fun, especially in the recent seasons where she loosened up.

7. Ted Crisp, Linda Zwordling, Phil Myman, Lem Hewitt
Played by Jay Harrington, Andrea Anders, Jonathan Slavin, and Malcolm Barrett; Better Off Ted
Second to the cast of Parks is the cast of Better Off Ted.  I would love to go to Medieval Fight Club with these people.  I'd love to be in a children's book, starring Phil as a sad-eyed lemur, Lem as a fossa, Linda as an aye-aye, Ted as a chameleon, and me as a tortoise.  I'd have dance-offs with the company's best dancers Phil and Lem.  I'd stick up for Linda's ideals concerning company ethics.  And I'd go out drinking with Ted...or just hang out at his apartment while we color with Rose.  I'm a good babysitter, mind you.

8. Buffy Summers, Anya, Xander Harris
Played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, Emma Caulfield, and Nicholas Brendon; Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I almost added Willow, but then I decided she'd be super boring in real life.  I would have a blast with Anya.  The lack of social filter, which I at times lack, is outstandingly hilarious to me.  It would be nothing short of an adventure every minute with her.  And think of the amazing songs we could sing!  "Bunnies!  Bunnies!  It must must bunnies!  Or maybe midgets..."  Xander is a nerd's nerd.  Now that he looks like Nick Fury and makes acceptable comic book references ALL the time, I want to keep him in my pocket to make wise cracks and make me look smarter and more coordinated because I'm awfully awkward at moving.

9. Rose Nylund, Dorothy Zbornak, Sophia Petrillo, Blanche Devereaux
Played by Betty White, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, and Rue McClanahan; Golden Girls
Who wouldn't want to be a part of this crew?  I grew up playing cards with my grandparents.  My idea of a fun weekend during high school was not getting drunk and disobeying my parents; it was playing cards with old ladies.  It continues to this day.  I, too, am a fan of cheesecake.  I imagine coming home after a long day of annoying people or a horrible date that I could break out the cheesecake and, at the first slice, my friends come running for the dining room table.  We would share our happenings of the day, and Rose would tell a story about living in St. Olaf.  And we'd all gape or laugh at her.  I'd have cooking contests with Sophia.  And I'd talk books and teaching with Dorothy.  And we'd all enter talent shows together.  It would be a blast, and I'd forget that I'm decades younger than them.

10. Jon Snow
Played by Kit Harington; Game of Thrones
Fiercely protective and a true gentleman, Jon Snow would be my BFF for sure.  He looks out for the outcasts and befriends them when no one else would.  Rather than shunning or laughing at them, he makes them feel of worth by using their strengths and their personalities to their advantage, building their confidence.  I wish Jon Snow had been my friend in school.  Not to mention, he'd probably be a fantastic wing man.

A few need honorable mentions because they were so close to being on the list.

Monica Gellar
Played by Courteney Cox; Friends
We're too much the same, so we would not get along, I'm sure.   But it'd be worth a shot.  Clean freaks.  Cooking fanatics.  Similar speech patterns.

The Cul-de-Sac Crew
Played by Courteney Cox, Christa Miller, Busy Phillips, Dan Byrd, Josh Hopkins, Ian Gomez, and Brian Van Holt; Cougar Town
The reason the Crew didn't make the top 10 is because I would find them extremely obnoxious and annoying in real life, even though I AM exactly like Jules, except for the whole Oedipal complex thing with her son.  The rapport they all have with each other is realistic, complete with making up 5 minutes later over a few bottles of wine.  Did I mention that I'm Jules?  That's two Courteney Cox characters.  I'm starting to think that Courteney Cox herself and I should be BFFs.  Make it happen, world, make it happen.

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