Sunday, October 11, 2009

Not-so-Movie-of-the-Week: Couples Retreat

I excepted more when I shouldn't have, since Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau. But I was hoping Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell, who should be leads in a movie by themselves, would excel in it, but their talent was put to waste by bland writing. Jokes were not hilarious, only mediocre. Really, why would you make jokes out of "ball cancer?" That's just unfunny and distasteful. Jon Favreau is disgusting in his attempt to try to get a handjob or sex with younger women the entire movie. Kristen Davis's character was also annoying in her wanting to jump every shirtless man on the island. Oh, and there was a whole part that involved Guitar Hero--Vince Vaughn playing a whole Guitar Hero song. Why? Don't ask me. People were laughing, so I think Guitar Hero must be fun and funny, but I never got that game either. The orgiastic yoga session was completely awkward and crude. Why did Jean Reno do this movie? I can't believe that he'd be out of work, not after Leon the Professional. Maybe he just wanted to go to Bora Bora really bad and agreed to do the movie. Malin Ackerman was great, diversifying her range lately. Kali Hawk was ridiculously goofy. At first she was annoying, but she provided the only quotable lines. The children were cute and hilarious. They had good lines, better lines than the adults. And Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell, my future wife, were simply adorable. While I respect that the couples' situations are entirely realistic, they weren't as funny as intended. I think there might have been too many cast members for anyone to shine. It ended up turning into a sloppy mess. You will want to go Bora Bora after seeing the movie. Unfortunately that's 9 bucks a person you can't get back in saving up for that trip to Bora Bora. It was terrible how the advertisers also led everyone to believe it was a movie starring Vince Vaughn and no one else. It was an ensemble cast with Vaughn being in it maybe a minute or two more than the rest. Advertising Vince Vaughn draws in a certain crowd. I'm not in that crowd. I went to see it for the Bateman and Bell. Instead a potentially good movie was made at a sub-par level. I appreciate Vaughn's attempt to expand outside of the high school/college movies, but maybe he should stick to that, since it's apparently what he knows how to do best, where his annoying diatribes are more loved. To sum up my review: Vince Vaughn is a stupid turd. My grade: C+

PS--I'm sorry, Kristen. I wanted to love everything you've been in, but I find that I can't.

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